AdultFriendFinder – Review

Adultfriendfinder (AFF) has been around for years now. I first started dipping into it around 2003 (maybe before). In 2004 I hooked up with someone into the BDSM scene, and I’ve been returning ever since.

In all honesty, the layout and pricing structure hasn’t changed all that much over the years. The colours are still pretty much the same, and so is the profile format and messaging. The place doesn’t feel all that up to date, but it works… kinda.

The instant messaging system is clunky and unreliable and email system feels about as sure footed too: when you try and attach a pic, sometimes it gets uploaded, sometime it doesn’t, and when you send, your attached pic can hang around longer than your message, which you’re assured is “sent.”

To know if it really has been sent, or read at least, you have to pay to find out with a VIP membership level. Once upon a time, back in the day, you got notifications of that automatically, but these days you got to pay for it. Me, I’m not that curious, as a reply is all the assurance I’m looking for.

AFF isn’t that pricey for what it is, though, and a little cheaper than its specialist sister-site ALT. At time of writing my reg monthly membership is about £18 and the additional cost to contact non members about £12. So I’m around, or at, £30 a month.

Only paid-up members can fully view profiles – again, once upon a time you could do that, and other sites allow it (to entice you) – and if you want to make the very most of the site, I recommend ticking the additional option to allow non-members to view your profile and message you. That also allows them to view any intro messages you might send, too.

AdultFriendFinder Membership

One thing you’ll notice with AFF is that there appears to be a lot of Gold members. You’re either Standard, Gold or VIP. So, it looks like there’s a lot of fee-paying members you can contact, and many of those Gold members look damn hot.

Suspiciously damn hot.

When you check out the profiles you’ll find many are of a sameness – a smoking hot model-looking woman, in a backdrop that looks nothing like her listed hometown or even country.

Okay, could be a holiday snap.

But then the profile tagline will be all about finding love and searching for a soulmate, and how much she loves to cook & clean and wants to be a good wife and mother…

On a dating sex site.

These profiles proliferate on AFF and AFF allows them (I imagine) because they’re paid for.

When you contact one, it’s mostly the same copy & paste script. They’ll thank you for contacting them and tell you they don’t use the site much but would like to get to know you better, and chat away from AFF for “privacy.” So please supply “her” with your email address.

This is just the email-scam. Once you hand it over, you’ll never hear from these profiles again, but your inbox will start being spammed to hell and back by all sorts of shit.

These are just scammers at the end of the profile harvesting emails and selling them on to viagra, get rich quick schemes, and anyone else who buys them.

So don’t get suckered.

After a while, you start to recognise them, but some put a bit more work into getting your email – never give it, always insist on Kik. If they won’t do that, bail – you’re just being scammed.

But as I said in my review of the BDSM Site, a pretty face and banal profile doesn’t always mean a scammer, so give the benefit of the doubt here and there – because there are some genuinely good looking women on these sites, so don’t write off a profile just because it’s accompanied with some good photos.

Adultfriendfinder VIP

Be aware too, on AFF, of the female VIP profiles – many, I think, are fake and AFF admin. I say that because these are the profiles that “flirts” are sent from with unerring regularity, and if you message, you never as much as get an acknowledgement.

Then they “flirt” again the following week.

I’m not sure if they’re paid to send these things out or if the system generates them, but whatever, if a female VIP member “flirts” with you (and these women are always hot) then you can safely ignore it.

Certainly don’t go and pay for a membership to contact them.

Contacting Members

I find it best to use the Browse feature to drill down on the demographic and location (country) I want to see the Adult Friend Finder Best Dating Sitepoon for.

Browse is a dragnet and will haul in everyone of the age range you specify.

Because to get a meet out of AFF you have to do some trawler fishing, and be prepared to shoot many, many hoops to get one to go in.

Back in the old days, it was apparent just how many of the messages you’d send weren’t read. That’s down to many reasons – the profile owner not logging in again or the deluge of messages they receive and thus yours gets buried in in the morass and never seen amidst the cock pics and “hi beautiful” shite that each and every decent looking woman’s inbox is full of.

It’s a fact of life of online dating and not just reserved to sex dating (where it’s x10 worse).

That so little of your messages get read is probably why that feature got turned off, or rather turned into a VIP feature; and it’s not worth paying for.

So don’t waste your time crafting elaborate and witty messages, or including your life story – just make it a line or two – but something snappy and that relates back to their profile to show you at least read it and didn’t spam it.

And say something more than you think she’s “beautiful” or want to meet or fuck or send her a pic of your cock… because get fucking real. It may be a sex dating site but there’s still some social dance, so don’t come over like a total fucking social retard or sex pest.

Keep it normal before it gets “abnormal”. Or sexual.

If I get a reply back, I’ll respond, and maybe do a couple rounds of messaging ping-pong before I suggest hopping to Kik.

If they do that, then they’re serious.


A lot drop out on the second reply, too. You can get an answer, all gushing and great, and you respond… and nothing.

Don’t follow up or message again, just move on.

Or that can happen on the second or third or whatever message; the line just suddenly goes dead.  It’s frustrating but there’s nothing you can do about it except shrug and continue working the AFF game.

Them women are getting an endless parade of dick through their inboxes so sooner or later one more to her liking might show up. You just have to accept that any given moment, what seems like a hot lead, and into you, can ghost…

And you can do it too if you get several leads, you’ll inevitably focus more on the one you like best. Except unlike the women that’ll be two or three at most, with women, they’ll have the option of juggling twenty or thirty if they really want!

It’s massively skewed in the women’s favour on these sites, and it’s us guys that pay for it all, but that’s just how it is, no point getting steamed about it.

But despite what some reviewers (and eternal trolls) might say, you can get laid off AFF, and not just with fat single mothers.

I can attest to that.

And, actually, a hot single mother is nothing to be sneezed at either for no-strings fun… if you can get it.

The Women of Adultfriendfinder

I’d say the women are on a par pretty much with a regular dating site. The real ones that is, because mainstream dating sites have plenty of catfish and fake accounts, too.

You get all age ranges, and remember it is a big world – while women can get sex whenever they want it, they use these sites to meet folks on the quiet or to make sure they’re getting someone who’s into what they are, and they don’t have to waste time introducing the kink/fetish and worry about being judged on it.

For instance, the younger women who get off on the idea of being “used” or fucking a much older guy can’t indulge that in front of their peer group, so they head to the likes of AFF to discretely get that itch scratched.

Likewise the woman looking for an affair, or the couple looking to introduce another body into the fun.

And the women who want to be submissive and get tied up and pounded through the mattress.

You’ll find them on AFF.

Though maybe not on just joining and off your first batch of messages.

If you sign up for one month, you could well strike a hit – I  have – but to get the quality you want, and the pussy that really does it for you, you have to play the longer game with these sites.

There’s a good turnover of new members on AFF and checking it a couple times a week is advised. If you don’t regularly message and put some “work” into it, then you won’t get much out of it – contacting and initiating is still largely the man’s prerogative.

And as I said, keep it “normal.” Just because it’s a sex dating site doesn’t mean act the sex pest or maniac.

The cost isn’t prohibitive, it’s a round of drinks so have fun with it 🙂

AF bj

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