So What’s For Real?
What it says on the tin: making a baby for real.
This isn’t actually as off the wall as it sounds, and no need to do anything underhand like lie about the snip, or prick holes in condoms, or stay when you promised to withdraw…
All that devious shit is the more the realm of women, let’s try and keep on the right side of the fantasy, and actually, for real, impregnating some woman is serious (to say the least) and shouldn’t be done entirely frivolously.
That said, there’s a lot of women out there who want to start a family, and a man is only of one purpose to them. In that case, where she’s up for it, and is totally A-OK taking on all the responsibity… then we’re all adults, and if it floats your boat, then go for it!
Sounds good, Uncle Ernie, but where do I meet these mythical women?
That budget way usually involves a “donor” as they’re colloquially known. In married/partnered couples, they’re not usually too up for the wife taking a sperm donation the natural way, but if you’re happy to toss off into a plastic beaker of the sort freely available online for home insemination, then there’s several sites you can sign-up to so that you can offer your services.
The above method is generally referred to as Artificial Insemination (AI). It’s the preferred method of couples, be that heterosexual or same sex (lesbian).
But there is another brand of donor seeker, and those are the single women who haven’t met the “right man” and have the “time’s running out” sob story. Or maybe some ovarian issue and have been advised to get the job done sooner rather than later.
These types can be more open to the other method: Natural Insemination (NI).
You may be surprised by just how open.
Particularly if you Google up and believe the news articles of women being coerced and manipulated into NI on these sites by evil men withholding their sperm unless they get their jollies in the process.
You, know, like women are entitled to your sperm by virtue of just advertising for it, and you’ll get your petrol paid and maybe even a cup of tea after you’ve had a wank in their bathroom, so what are you complaining about?
Which is all fine if you’re fine with it, but I’m not.
I wouldn’t want to meet up with someone not into it, who wanted AI, because I’d respect that. Just like I’d expect my preference for NI to be respected.
As you can imagine, that’s just about what all the dudes are offering, and much like dating sites, the men out number the women greatly.
But unlike a dating site, when you get a date off a co-parenting site, you’re onto a sure thing.
There’s probably more, but these are the ones I’m aware of in the UK and as far as I’m aware, they have memberships world wide.
This would be my number one recommendation.
The site’s got a nice layout, there’s quite a few pictured females, and as a man, you get three months of free membership right off the bat; the women have to pay to join.
That’s unusual that you get something a woman doesn’t, but in this instance you’re kind of holding the cards – or the sperm. They want a kid, and you can provide it.
There’s quite a good turnover of new members on this site, a forum, a wink system like a dating site(!) and you can check out who’s viewed you.
Not all the women put their photo up, and even less their weight, but that’s par the course for women on all these sites.
Not as nice as coparents, and you have to pay to join up with no free period of membership.
One nice feature is the “method of donation” listing. Most women don’t want to say they want it up the muff, so they put “Needs discussion” or in some cases “NI” is outright stated.
“Needs discussion” you can more or less take as NI. Provided you’re of minimal attractiveness yourself and not a weird, creepy, clingy fucker generally repulsive to women, then you’re probably gonna be good to go.
Go NI that is.
3. Pollen Tree
This is last as I’m least familiar with it. I think they have a rule against NI too, unlike the other sites, Check it out, I include it just to throw another option in there.
You have to be a member to read messages, and you can see who’s read and who hasn’t, the ones you send. The fact that women have to pay to join means that any replies or enquiries you do get, will generally be serious.
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of profiles that sign-up just for the novelty of having a look, so while you may join and think you’ve hit the motherlode of willing chicks to knock-up, most will never read your message or log in again.
There’s also a smattering of scammers with fake profiles looking to try and get “travel expenses” to meet you, so beware.
Not all the chicks are going to be top notch or twenty-one years old, but the standard really is no better or worse than a lot of dating sites, and there’s all ages, backgrounds, and types on it.
With a bit of patience, and willingness to travel, you can find yourself indulging your fantasy for real, with a real live willing woman.
However, in the same way I advise against trying to railroad a woman into NI (just fucking don’t), I’d also advise you not allow yourself to be railroaded into AI if that’s not what you want.
Be honest and state it up front in your profile.
Also try and sound human in your profile, and sweeten it with bullshit about wanting a family, or wanting to ‘help’ women achieve their dream and so on – don’t just say you’re there to get your rocks off trying to knock someone up.
Most of the guys are there specifically for just that, but please observe the social niceties and keep it polite.
Bear in mind that this is real, and you could well father a child, so who do you want to pass your genes onto? Because there’s some desperate women on these sites, and would you really want mini-you living on a council estate with a mum on welfare? Or to have a kid with a woman disabled in some way? Because those sorts are on these sites too. I’m not saying they’re not entitled to their dream and a bit of happiness in life too, but are you okay with that on your DNA?
And while there’s sample contracts provided on some of these sites (and to be found elsewhere online), these are pretty much worthless. The only non-binding “sperm donor” contract there is, is sperm donation via a properly licensed medical clinic.
In other words, if mommy decides junior needs horse riding lessons in addition to skating, singing and karate, and she’s finding it a struggle, she could well come a knocking at your door with her hand held open.
And the courts will ensure you fill that hand if she has a mind to go to them.
So be careful.
A lot of profiles, particularly the couples, are pretty adamant that they’re not looking for anything more from you than your sperm. That once junior comes, you will never, ever, see them or play any part in their life (as above though, if they split up, they can still come back years later to you with their hand out).
Some offer minimal involvement – like birthdays etc. – but only if junior expresses the interest.
It’s hard to say how you’ll really react when you meet your kid, and how that might fuck you up.
So, caution and thinking beyond your dick is required.
But those sites are there…
And you’re a big boy, and I make no judgements 😉