Properly Screwed By An Escort

And not in a good way.

As a new boy to escorting back in 2013, I decided to take the plunge with an agency arranged ‘date’ when my original date cancelled.

This was at the end of a business trip, the Friday evening, as I’d decided to stay on for the weekend and enjoy the nightlife London had to offer… as well as its hookers.

I decided to contact an agency as my date cancelled at the last minute, I had dinner reservations, and thought why the heck let dinner and my enjoyment of the hotel go to waste? So I fired up Google and had a good browse through the usual suspects, deciding on a petite 23-year-old blonde with a profile on Diva.

I had a good look, too, through all the websites and girls, because if I was paying for pussy, I wanted pussy worth paying for – and I was paying all rigtht as I wanted an over-nighter i.e. 8hrs, not just a wham-bam thank you mam.

Thus, what I wanted, was an escort in the truest sense. In my mind’s eye, I imagined dinner and drinks with the stunning lady advertised on Diva; pleasant small talk and great companionship that would result in a ‘happy ending’ come time to retire at the end of the night…

What I actually got was a wake-up call.

I made the request to meet my chosen escort ten days prior to the ‘date’ and confirmed I wanted an over-nighter and a dinner date was to form part of the time together. I was assured this was no problem and scheduled to meet (let’s call her) Vivian at my room at 8pm, for dinner at 8:30pm.

As a neophyte I did my homework and checked out an escort forum so I knew the protocol re handing over money and get some idea of what these girls were about and what they thought. From everything I read, it seemed if you played fair by these girls, they played fair with you. As Vivian was an agency escort, not an independent, I somehow thought that imbued her with greater cache – quality assured so to speak – so I was looking forward to the experience with ‘sure thing.’

I was ready come 8pm, and intended treating the evening just as I would a date with any other woman, and so no need for any more awkwardness than I would experience any other female that I’d exchanged numbers with in a bar and arranged to meet again barely knowing. That was how I intended to proceed with my overnight “GFE” rent-a-date and I fully intended to accord Vivian the same respect and manners that I would any woman I invited to dinner: a drink in my room beforehand to better get to know one another, and then go down to dinner.

Except 8pm came and went and no Vivian, and by 8:20pm there was still no sign of her.

I texted the agency to ask if I’d been stood-up?! They replied a few minutes later to ask if she was with me yet, and I could only say, “No”. They then text’d a few minutes after that assuring me she was on her way and having difficultly finding me.

My room was a little out of the way, and I’d text’d the agency earlier in the day giving directions to try and avoid this situation. In fairness to Vivian I later found out that they hadn’t passed this information on… but 30mins to find a room?! I think she was more late than having trouble finding me.

Anyway, just before 8:30pm I got a knock at the door and opened it to Vivian. I realise agency photos are subject to a little airbrushing but Vivian looked nothing like her photos – apart from being blonde maybe. That’s not to say she was unattractive, because she was a pretty girl, but she just wasn’t the stunner in the photos.

I’ll admit I was a little disappointed, but I didn’t show it. As I say, she was still a pretty, dinky little thing and certainly fuck-able.

I gave her a big “hello” and invited her in with a smile.

However, I wasn’t greeted by a great big smile or any of the cordiality I thought would be part of the practised escort’s repertoire in putting someone at ease. Instead I got quite a cold person I thought. Actually, a pissed-off person.

About as attractive and similar smiling look of welcome on her face

I paid her immediately, £800 as advertised for 9hrs on Diva (as per 2013 prices), and invited her to count it: “please do count it in case I’ve made an error” – I thought I was being just as slick as owl shit but she had an envelope open and rifling through those notes like a bank teller before I even finished the sentence.

Having accepted my money, and made it disappear in her handbag, she then informed me she doesn’t do dinner dates, and while she would sit and watch me eat, she wasn’t prepared to play ball and do likewise.

This was a top London restaurant in a top London 5 star hotel. I wanted to enjoy the restaurant and here I was getting my first slap in the face of what Vivian would, and would not, be prepared to do. Given she was fully informed of my intention to expect her companionship at dinner by the agency, and on top of her being late, this bugged me.

I mean, sorry, but I’m paying for this, and you’re supposed to be pleasant and compliant company. And when she said it, that she wasn’t doing dinner, she said it with a confrontational look on her face that I didn’t care for.

I also noted, that she was dressed “business” not for dinner i.e. a cocktail dress. And maybe I’m being picky, but she was dressed cheap too, in terms of her shoes and outfit. Not cheap as in slutty, but cheap as in it was obvious it was cheap, budget clothing, and well worn cheap, budget clothing.

But fuck it, I’d paid her, and I was hungry and I was having dinner, whether she she like it or not and was welcome to sit there with nothing: I was prepared to buy dinner but if not, fine, it was money I didn’t have to spend.

So we leave my room and on the walk to the elevator she asks how old I am, and then to herself mumbles, “I don’t like dinner dates…” Like I’d asked her to take 12″ dildo up her ass, instead of just play along, do your fucking job, and be good company.

On the way down in the lift she makes a quip about cutting my neck! I’m thinking did I hear right? You’re making a ‘joke’ about slitting my throat? I never did understand where that came from and given I was fully expecting to fall asleep with this woman I was hardly put at ease!

This, as I was to come to realise by the end of the night, was pretty typical of Vivian’s ‘social skills.’  Vivian did not do the “escorting” in escort. She did, however, accept payment for it.

So we sit down to dinner and Vivian bitches again about how she hates doing dinner dates and defiantly reiterates she doesn’t want anything. I didn’t argue and ordered, and she accepted a glass of wine.

We’ve diners either side of us and Vivian proceeds to merrily start talking about her agency and how she usually does girls, not guys (like I’m getting big favour and this is free or something?) and why did I pick her instead of the other girl? So now the tables on either side of me know I’m sitting with a escort.

I could’ve wanted the floor open up and swallow me. .. I mean really? This was her idea of dinner “small talk”?

I tried changing the subject, I can talk to most people, but if this was a date with any other woman I’d have been sitting there with a sinking heart, thinking this was not going well at all.

On several occasions, I felt like I was appeasing Vivian to get her to stay! That was looking for an argument with me. This was not what I was expecting at all, to say the least.

Nothing like this happened

And in case you think I’m some fat old gargoyle, I’m far from that, which Vivian conceded, happy to tell me (and anyone within earshot in the restaurant) that she only does overnights for her regulars, and if I’d opened the door and wasn’t up to snuff (whatever her minimum requirements are to carry out a booking?) then she would’ve just walked away.

That was me told. And the diners either side of us informed. The woman to my right could barely eat for eavesdropping.

So I sat and ate, forcing conversation out of Vivian whilst she drank wine and made it obvious she’d really rather not be there.

It wasn’t all bad, there were periods where the conversation flowed, but really all Vivian was interested in was getting back to the bedroom and getting down to business: get it over and done with, so she could get out of the hotel.

I did want to have a drink in the hotel’s bar following dinner, as it enjoys a world wide reputation, but Vivian veto’d that and she’d decided it was time to go back to my room apparently, having done enough of that pretending to enjoy my conversation. Well… she didn’t even pretend, I was being tolerated and knew it.

Oh, and she felt the need to tell me (once again in full ear shot of the restaurant) that she’d been to this particular hotel twenty times by her reckoning. I knew what the woman did for a living, I didn’t see why she had to paint me a picture that I was cock number twenty-one that she was about to bounce up and down at this venue.

So we get to my room and we lie on the bed and chat and kiss, and that was very nice and very enjoyable. In due course she got up to remove her clothes and I asked if I could undress her, being as how that’s usually how it goes down on a date with a happy ending.

A firm “no” was her answer to that. Again, obviously a completely unreasonable request on my part: to remove her knickers.

So we get to the main event (with condom) and it was very enjoyable. She did ask what I liked, and I told her it turned me on to hear a woman beg for my baby… but that never happened. I can’t say she gave the impression of just going through the motions, though, she made all the right noises (other than the impregnation thing), and hell maybe she did even enjoy herself…? And eventually she gets me to pop my cork, as the idiom goes.

All well and good and she instructs (demands) I go wash my dick now.

Okay. Whatever.

This is about midnight now. I had a wash as requested, and we’re back in bed now… and suddenly the room’s too cold (something else to complain about) to “work in.” It had been a very warm day and while I had the air conditioning on, I can assure you it was nothing excessive.

Me, I’m hoping that after a breather we can have round two. I mean I’ve got until 5:30am by my reckoning: I gave her £800 for 9hrs, so that’s what you get right?


There was no round two as Vivian had now suddenly developed a sore leg or some such, and thus further missionary was out, but I could come in her mouth if I wanted? I joked that it takes me a while to get off on a blow job and she snapped back that she wasn’t sucking my cock for an hour.

I never asked her to. I just made a joke.

Then she got agitated again and said that I didn’t know what I wanted? I wanted sex but her leg was too sore (she claimed), and so now she was going home and got up to get dressed.

I thought wait a fucking minute here! Calmly, I said, “I’m not being a dick but I paid you for 9 hrs,” to which she replied, “I can go whenever I want and no one can stop me.”  I never suggested that I could. I just wanted her to honour the terms of the ‘contract.’

So then she wants a cigarette and as I’m in a non smoking room that’s something else to bitch about too. She gets dressed and says lets go downstairs and have a smoke and we’ll come back up after. I knew that was bullshit, that once she got dressed and had that cigarette that was going to be the end of the merry little evening.

And it was.

She asked me to stay with her until she got a taxi and I didn’t argue with her further as I didn’t want a scene outside the hotel: I got the feeling she was fully prepared to have one if I brought up the issue of not providing fair service for the money or a refund for the unfulfilled hours.

I asked the hotel staff to call her a taxi and seen her safely off (this is about 1:45am), because I would do the same for any other woman, and I’d treated Vivian with the same respect and courtesy I would accord any other woman.

But I was glad to see the back of her, and if that was ‘escorting’ never again.

Fucked she had been, but she’d fucked me over harder.

Maybe I was naive. These girls have “30mins” and “1 hour” on their profiles for a reason, and I looking at her reviews, the majority were for “1 hour.”

I think if you paid for 1-2hrs, and basically asked no more of Vivian than pounding her through the mattress, then I can see why you’d leave a happy customer.

Anything more and you’re not going to get your money’s worth, but she will take that money.

My ultimate feeling was simply being ripped-off. I got 4.5hrs for 9 paid. Oh, and Vivian informed me she only does 8hrs for overnights despite 9 being the duration stated on Diva. Regardless I never got 8hrs either.

She did check her phone after our first session so maybe she had another customer lined up? I don’t know, I can only say I got short-changed and if looking you’re seeking an actual ‘escorting’ service, you may be in for a disappointment with a lot of these girls, as they’re not that many rungs up on the street walker.

Let us know your hooker stories in comments – good or bad.

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