Sex Dolls & Toys – Our Dirty Recommendations

OV Dolls

Things have come a long way since the sad days of blow-up Lucy.

Lucy and friends required a fair amount of imagination (I imagine) to get your motor ticking, but today’s love dolls do all but give you grief for forgetting your 3wk 2day “anniversary.”

And are never too tired or too pissed off with you to say, “No.”

Or too freaked-out by that Little Beau Peep outfit you’d like her to wear.

They’ll do anything.

Anything you can bend and flex them into position to do.

A realistic love doll needn’t run you the price of a car either, you can get ’em brand new for the price of a decent holiday. To a beach where you’ll look longingly at a lot of tight young bodies in bikinis just like these.

Take a look at these beauties:

Don’t say you wouldn’t.

These are produced by OV Dolls and the ones featured above are (from left to right) Jean, Carmen, Hayley, Daisy and Oprah.

Carmen, at time of writing, is currently on sale too…

A love doll isn’t just for Christmas either. Or that week’s vacation in the sun. She’s forever.

Just saying.

We don’t judge around here 😉

Magic Wand

Vouched for by impregnationporn’s own Dodgy Dave 🙂 :

Phenomenal Vibes

Have used a mains powered wand on a regular basis alongside a draw full of other toys and the wand never fails to hit the mark.  The wand has simple controls and some raw power being mains controlled instead of battery powered which gives various levels of power from a nice gentle buzz to an OMG which provides enough flexibility to always reach the perfect orgasm.

Have had a few partners who were very sceptical over using this thinking it’s not going to get me off but it has never failed.  The wand is a must for any toy collection.

Crown Condoms

Because we all have to sometimes. Whether we like it or not.
Crown Condom

Sometimes you gotta or you’re not gonna at all.

So for those occasions go for the one that bills itself as “the closest thing to nothing at all.”

Crown Condoms have been voted the “World’s Best Condom” for the last 12 years, and I order and use them myself (for when requested).

Durex, Trojan etc., are just hard-on killers. If you have to wear one then wear the condom of the adult movie industry. Yup, these pink-tinted wrappers are the same sort you see in vanilla porn. So they’ve been tested in the harshest environment then (Jenna Jamieson’s pussy).

They’re strong and safe and come closest to that bareback feeling. They’re also bereft of that familiar rubbery latex odour.

Make sure you keep your dick up and order here.

Penis Enlargement

First up is the assisted penis pump. These things start out at a few quid/dollars and go well into three figures thereafter depending on the type/brand you buy.

These below come from both side of the financial extreme. Click the links to check them out and get more info on what’s billed as “Easy Start Penis Enlarger” and “Hydromax Xtreme“.

Easy Start Penis Enlarger & Hydromax Xtreme

Do they work? I’ve read testimonials swearing it.

And reviews trashing them.

But I did read one review from someone I kinda know, he’d no skin (no pun intended) in it as in a kick-back to vouch for the pump, and he said it did make a difference to his schlong.

It’s a damn sight easier than surgery, and more ‘natural’ than an extender, so… I dunno, give it a try?

With that in mind, the folks behind Penis Advantage claim they can add some muscle to your dick with nothing but their program.

Again, reviews vary but it’s been around a while and sells well, so that’s gotta count for something?

Just putting it out there, choice to follow up is yours, and I personally make no guarantees but the program comes with a money back one, so maybe give it the benefit of the doubt and see what it does for you re advantage.

Porn Star Stamina

This dude Aaron Wilcoxxx says he can get you performing like Peter North in his prime when it comes to hitting the sack.

I suppose if you’ve got a gym trainer, then Aaron is stepping up as your sex trainer – and if you’re gonna pay for advice you’d want it off some dude who’s jacked.

Be that in the bedroom or the weight room.

I’m not gonna sell it for Arron, I’ll let him do that here.

If gorilla-fucking some chick for hours on end appeals (and it sounds like quite the calorie burner) then Mr. Wilcoxx is the man with a plan to get you there.

Ain’t nothing wrong with a bit of pro coaching.

Premature Ejaculation

Okay, this shit needs no explanation. I’m not gonna go into all the medical and psychological reasons, there’s plenty other sites you could get that info from if you want it.

All we need know is, if you’re afflicted, then it sucks.

And not in a good, red lipstick around the dick, sort of way.

Bottom line is, it means less enjoyment, disappointment and dissatisfaction.

Which is nothing to joke about.

According to reviews Ejaculation Trainer by Matt Gordon is one of the most popular and effective programs out there.

If you’re a sufferer, check it out and see what you think.

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